Letter to my Brothers

by Tina McKeon

What prevented us from forming a closer bond? It was a question I had often pondered. Along my journey of self-discovery, I found the answer and so much more.

Growing up, the three of us never socialized together. Although we lived under the same roof, we seemed to travel in different circles. Yet, you two always managed to be inseparable. How I envied that. Being the only girl, I often felt very alone. At times, I wondered where or even if I fit into your lives. When you would pick on me, like older brothers do, I felt an odd sense of acknowledgment and acceptance. For me, those were the only moments that reinforced we were siblings.

I regret that we didn't communicate more. My childhood was plagued with emotional and mental turmoil. It was difficult spending so much time in the hospital. Were you aware of the daily ridicule I endured at school? It far outweighed any teasing you guys gave me. It was my polished demeanor to suffer in silence. Yet, would you have listened, if I vented my frustrations?. Maybe you could have protected me. Would you have fought to defend my honor?

There is a secret I must confess . For many years, I harbored jealousy toward you. While you had the great fortune of being born healthy, I spent most of my childhood in the hospital. Both of you excelled in sports, winning many trophies. My illness kept me from even tyring to participate. Your peers gravitated toward you. Your social calendars were always full. Being labeled a freak, no one wanted to be my friend. Only one boy was interested in dating me. Yet, that only lasted a month. Effortlessly, you got straight A's in school. On the other hand, I struggled with Special Education classes.

Most of my life, I carried negative baggage. A black cloud seemed to loom over my head. It distorted my perceptions. Also, it paralyzed my ability to rationally deal with life situations. There were times I hated your mere existence. To witness another one of your triumphs was too much to bear. Sadly, there were moments when I'd pray for just one failed attempt. But, of course, those prayers were never answered. Countless times I fantasized about being the only child.

Now, that I'm older and hopefully wiser, I've come to realize our estranged relationship wasn't the result of your behavior. My actions were the primary contributor to its demise For so long, I played the victim role. It blinded me and created a self-inflicted isolation. Insecure and afraid, I created a defensive wall. Though my intention was to shield myself from pain, it hindered me from living life and embracing those around me.

Please accept my sincere apology, as I make some heartfelt declarations. I'm so honored to call you my brothers. You are prime examples of fine, upstanding men. Kind-heartedness, respectful, and honest are just some of your many attributes. I adore the women you married, for they compliment you well. It is an added joy to witness the interaction with your children.

From this moment on, I chose to express my gratitude for having you in my life. Thank you for not abandoning me. I love you both!

The Marathon Man

Ray Fauteux

When I look back, it really wasn't a great time in my life. Thirty years ago my life consisted of working five days a week. The other two days of the week I would lay on the couch smoking cigarettes and drink beer. I was smoking around 35 cigarettes a day by the age of 29 thanks to habit I had picked up in high school. At the same time, I would usually put back 8 or so bottles of beer on any given Saturday or Sunday. I had no motivation and a life that was going nowhere fast.

That was until that one special day in the Summer of 1976. I was doing my usual beer-drinking, chain smoking, channel surfing routine and happened to land on the closing ceremonies of the Montreal Olympic Games. In those days, the marathon was the marquee event and was the final event that was scheduled to finish in Olympic Stadium, just prior to the closing ceremonies. I just happened to be on time to see the first runner enter the stadium that was packed with over 60,000 spectators. He was all alone as he made the final lap of the stadium toward the finish line.

It struck me how amazing it must have felt to finish such a long event and have the finish line in sight. To this day I can't say for sure what happened, but it really moved me and managed to ignite a spark somewhere deep inside. I thought how much I would love to experience the same thing this runner was. In the space of ten minutes I went from "I wish I could," to "I think I can," to "I'm going to do it!"

The very next day, I started my running career. It started very slowly, but at least it was a start. Too embarrassed to run outside, I began my running inside a gymnasium. The first day all I could manage was two laps before I started coughing and getting dizzy. It was at that moment that I knew the cigarettes would have to go. Within a week I quit a 12 year habit. In the 30 years since I have never smoked another cigarette.

I ran a little bit every single day. Within a month I was doing 5 miles inside the gym. My breathing began to get easier and easier with each passing day. I coughed up a lot of weird stuff for a while, but I think the running cleared my lungs of all the tar and nicotine very quickly...Click here to read more

An Inspirational Message for a Friend

I know there are times in life that you feel as though you can't do anything right. You never seem to be able to please anyone and everyone around you seems to always be going against you. You may feel stupid, unworthy, and even unloved.

These feelings may lead you to hate yourself or those around you. Hate leads to nothing but pain. Pain only causes more pain and nothing good comes of it. Remember you have a choice in life. You do not have to choose pain. There are better things in life to choose from.

First, let me thank you for being here. I appreciate everything you do even when it you have made a mistake. I know your learning, and learning is always good.

You do not have to try and please me. I will always be there for you, in good times and in bad. Remember, do not try to please everyone, this is a losing battle.

You have a big heart and this is why things bother you. Your heart is what makes you so special; never lose your heart to another. Keep a bit of it for yourself.

Know that I will always love you even when you hate me. I know you are passionate, and I respect that. Just don't hate me for too long.

You are not stupid. If you make a mistake it is ok. I know you will learn from it. Stupidity only comes when you refuse to learn. I have faith in you. I know you will learn.

You are worthy of everything life has to offer. Take advantage of this, life is there for the taking.

Remember I love you. You and I are one, just look in the mirror.

The Box of Kisses

Some time ago, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of wrapping paper. Money was hard to come by and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Still, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,"Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was beside himself. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

It is said that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would go to the box filled with imaginary kisses and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

Each of us have been given a container filled with unconditional love. This container holds the unconditional love and kisses from our children, partners, friends and family. These gifts are kept deep within us as a lasting reminder of how much we are loved by the people who placed them there.

Never forget just how loved you are.

Positive Thinking

Do you ever just stop for a moment and clear your mind? Try it. Think of nothing, let everything go. Let go of your anxieties. Let go of your troubles, even if it is just for a moment.

Now look around you. You will see that the world exists without your troubles. Every blade of grass, each cloud in the sky, each person that passes you by, they do not share your troubles. So let your troubles go, even if it is only for a moment. Your soul will appreciate the break.

Remember life keeps going, even when you think you can't. Do not be so hard on yourself or others, everyone tries the best they can. So stop to take in the beauty around you. There is beauty in everything if you know how to look for it.

Look at the beauty in the world. The world is filled with all kinds of possibilities. Every moment you clear your mind a dream is being born. Every dream is a window to opportunity. Do not let your anxieties and troubles tear the beauty of the world apart. You have the power to create. Try it, follow your heart.

Remember these things:
There is still love in the world.
There is still goodness and joy.
Know you are wanted and needed.

And most importantly of all, enjoy being alive.

Start With Yourself

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

But, it too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.

Words written tomb of an Anglican Bishop, Westminster Abbey London

How to be Happy

The basis of your life is choice; the purpose of your life is happiness.

You can choose to discover what makes you happy or you can choose a to go down a path of misery. If you should choose to discover happiness, your happiness will allow you to find peace and you will spread joy around you. If you should choose a life of confusion and misery, you will grow, but the growth will be in despair and you will spread this despair to those around you.

Happiness is a choice. You can chose to be happy or you can chose to be angry. The choice is always yours. It is as easy to be happy, as it is easy to be angry. All you have to do is make the choice as to the path you will take.

Imagine happiness and it will be yours. Ask yourself what makes you happy and then think why you want it. When you do this the essence of your desire will be activated. You will start to uncover inner feelings about yourself. Listen to your inner voice. You will start to understand your desires and you will be able to act on them. Remember never to assume anything. You do not know what others think and 9 out of 10 you will be wrong. Being judgement only leads you to judge yourself. All of those imperfections that you see in others are only reflections of what you fear yourself to be. This only leads to anger and resentment

Anger, resentment, despair, all of these things need to be let go. These feelings will do you no good and only bring you misery. Try to look at everything in life in a positive way. Believe it or not, there is always something positive in anything we deem negative.

Give yourself a chance to be happy. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember everyone deserves to be happy.